So yesterday was the first day of my Women's Bible Study. I am so excited about this new female only space that I think I might be giddy!?!? LOL! We are studying a book entitled "Lies Women Believe" - there are definitely some breakthroughs on the horizon!
I truly am enthralled by the opportunity to really explore who I am as a woman with a group of older (or should I say seasoned) Christian women. Our first homework assignment is to write about the "holes" in our lives - the areas that are painful and many times never discussed in a public setting. I know that this assignment is going to open some healing doors for me and although I am completely ready to embrace change in my life, I realize that change is never an easy process and I must begin to prepare myself emotionally and spiritually.
Change, or should I say real change, always requires that we analyze ourselves from the inside out, that we dissect and scrutinize areas in our lives where we secretly house all of our private sins and indiscretions, and many times this process is so gut wrenching and frightening that we never actually transcend the change into our open spaces - why? Simple, we do not want anyone to hold us accountable.
I am ready to start this process because I know that growth is change and I refuse to have a stagnant existence - unavailable emotionally to anyone who crosses my path and afraid to become a fully evolved women.
Before the class was over, someone said something really poignant and I think it represents why we all must change. While packing up her bible, she expressed her excitement about participating in the class and then told all of us that she was tired of having holes in her life. She said that she is now understanding how holes become generational - she sees them being replayed in the lives of her children and warned us that if you don't deal with your issues, they eat you alive and begin to consume everyone in your intimate circle.
Before the class was over, someone said something really poignant and I think it represents why we all must change. While packing up her bible, she expressed her excitement about participating in the class and then told all of us that she was tired of having holes in her life. She said that she is now understanding how holes become generational - she sees them being replayed in the lives of her children and warned us that if you don't deal with your issues, they eat you alive and begin to consume everyone in your intimate circle.
I have no desire to carry around any more holes or to live in bondage because of issues that I am too afraid to deal with! I know that I said the next couple of posts would be about love and I think this is about love. Its about loving ourselves enough to find our true purpose and calling in life and to deal with our issues so that they do not become the downfalls of our relationships. Relationships with our mothers, our men, our children, our employers, our friends and even our relationship with God. We have to start dealing with these issues and we have to start figuring out who we are as women before we can be anything for anyone else!
We have to reclaim spaces and identities that we currently encompass and speak into existence the spaces that we will claim in our future!
We have to reclaim spaces and identities that we currently encompass and speak into existence the spaces that we will claim in our future!
Ok this Black Girl just Roared! ha!
In solidarity -
Jamila
Christian. Black Women. Feminist. Daughter. Sister. Friend and Eventual Wife. Mother. Teacher. Writer.
2 comments:
Heck Yea!!!! Breakthroughs are on the Horizons. God is answering prayers. Oh by the way jamila you and nykeba did not wish me a happy birthday but you are forgiven since your are experiencing a closer relationship with God, which is what I pray for all 4 of my sisters and children everyday. While reading I thought of psalm 51;10 David asked the Lord to create in him a clean heart after he had sex with Bathsheba who was someone elses wife. But to read the whole thing is even better. So please read all of Psalm 51 I believe I that is great for you in this season in your life. When you write about the holes in your life also ask the Holy Spirit to begin to show you the hidden holes that your are not in touch with and in time He will show you and It will shock you. After you have done all you can do with your self The Lord has a way of revealing more. Strange enough though when I got home last night my bible was open to Isiah 1; 16 - 20. The living bible translation...Oh, wash yourselves! Be clean! Let me no longer see you doing all these wicked thinks; quit your evil ways. Learn to do good, to be fair and to help the poor, the fatherless, and widows. come, let us talk this over! (the king james say, " come now, and let us reason together...), says the Lord: no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you clean as freshly fallen snow, Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool! If you will simply let me help you, if you will only obey, then I will make you rich! But if you keep on turning your backs and refusing to listen to me, you will be killed by your enemies; I the Lord have spoken. Jamila, I hope this helps and you can apply this to your life, Remember, the Holy Spirit is our comforter, helper keeper, revealer, leader, director, correcter, lover of your soul, one with your spirit, deliverer and the Father of breakthroughs. Once He fills up your holes in life you will be WHOLE!!! Let's see how can I say this, Lil Sis, Go get yo cleansing girl!! LOL!!!!! p.s. I like that prophetic statement and decree at the end about who you are (Jamila Christian. Black Women. Feminist. Daughter. Sister. Friend and Eventual Wife. Mother. Teacher. Writer.)
Remember After you have changed all you can change, stand and let Jesus do the finishing touch. I can chat all day about this but I must go before the Lord and let Him show me some more about me now. Much Love Your Biggest Sis, Chandra
sorry I forgot to edit the earlier feedback.
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