Black Sweat Pants

Its official. I am wearing black sweat pants to work. Pertussis has gotten the best of me and quite frankly I am over pretending that I have the strength to get myself together for an 8 hour work day.

Hopefully I will have more insightful comments later on today. Until then.

Holiday Party. Pertussis. And Then -

So at my company Holiday party (which I hosted last night) I joked with my 30 something white co-worker about her new beau / relationship laughing while commenting on the fact that she will probably be married and pregnant within the year. Seconds after I made the comment, my 40 something White boss chimed in and said "stop laughing that will probably be your reality too" -

I stopped and thought about the possibility of me finding myself in a relationship, happy and pregnant within the next 365 days and it seemed like a distant, self-defeating dream that is not the reality of brown girls like me. Sigh. As my baby itch rages on, I guess one can only hope.

Random continuation - I also reflected on the fact that I have officially had pertussis for 5 weeks and 3 days. Yes, pertussis. As in whooping cough. Why is this my reality. Ahhhh. It has made me reflect on illnesses like emphysema. I cannot imagine how good it feels to smoke but if it ends with a condition where you are forced to hack up your lungs every day, I'm GOOD!

And then - yea so I haven't blogged since March and I have no idea how long I will keep this up but a Traveling Womanist reminded me of something I started long ago and never truly took seriously, so I'm back. Until the next time, peace 8 )

...

I’m not your happy child
your depression
your anxiety
your hate

I’m not a feminist
a misogynist
a womanist
a miscreant
or a saint

I’m not your golden showers
your every hour
your virgin flower
your forever mate

I’ll eat what I want
fuck who I want
love who I want
without your say

Krystal Fawn Baugher