So yesterday was the first day of my Women's Bible Study. I am so excited about this new female only space that I think I might be giddy!?!? LOL! We are studying a book entitled "Lies Women Believe" - there are definitely some breakthroughs on the horizon!
I truly am enthralled by the opportunity to really explore who I am as a woman with a group of older (or should I say seasoned) Christian women. Our first homework assignment is to write about the "holes" in our lives - the areas that are painful and many times never discussed in a public setting. I know that this assignment is going to open some healing doors for me and although I am completely ready to embrace change in my life, I realize that change is never an easy process and I must begin to prepare myself emotionally and spiritually.
Change, or should I say real change, always requires that we analyze ourselves from the inside out, that we dissect and scrutinize areas in our lives where we secretly house all of our private sins and indiscretions, and many times this process is so gut wrenching and frightening that we never actually transcend the change into our open spaces - why? Simple, we do not want anyone to hold us accountable.
I am ready to start this process because I know that growth is change and I refuse to have a stagnant existence - unavailable emotionally to anyone who crosses my path and afraid to become a fully evolved women.
Before the class was over, someone said something really poignant and I think it represents why we all must change. While packing up her bible, she expressed her excitement about participating in the class and then told all of us that she was tired of having holes in her life. She said that she is now understanding how holes become generational - she sees them being replayed in the lives of her children and warned us that if you don't deal with your issues, they eat you alive and begin to consume everyone in your intimate circle.
Before the class was over, someone said something really poignant and I think it represents why we all must change. While packing up her bible, she expressed her excitement about participating in the class and then told all of us that she was tired of having holes in her life. She said that she is now understanding how holes become generational - she sees them being replayed in the lives of her children and warned us that if you don't deal with your issues, they eat you alive and begin to consume everyone in your intimate circle.
I have no desire to carry around any more holes or to live in bondage because of issues that I am too afraid to deal with! I know that I said the next couple of posts would be about love and I think this is about love. Its about loving ourselves enough to find our true purpose and calling in life and to deal with our issues so that they do not become the downfalls of our relationships. Relationships with our mothers, our men, our children, our employers, our friends and even our relationship with God. We have to start dealing with these issues and we have to start figuring out who we are as women before we can be anything for anyone else!
We have to reclaim spaces and identities that we currently encompass and speak into existence the spaces that we will claim in our future!
We have to reclaim spaces and identities that we currently encompass and speak into existence the spaces that we will claim in our future!
Ok this Black Girl just Roared! ha!
In solidarity -
Jamila
Christian. Black Women. Feminist. Daughter. Sister. Friend and Eventual Wife. Mother. Teacher. Writer.